Sometimes its easier to hear the gunshots, than to see the hope

Over the past five weeks, I have been sharing the stories of our Capitol View Dwell House participants. To learn more about our Dwell program, please check out our website. If you are interested in financially supporting our Dwell program, you can donate on our website. Please make sure to indicate on your donation that it is directed toward the DOOR Atlanta Dwell program.

Our last Capitol View Resident is Aline and she has taken on the leadership role of “House Leader” in our program. Last year she lived in the Grant Park Dwell House and will reflect on her desire to spend a second year living in intentional Christian community. Aline shared during a common dinner and several other community members chimed in on her reflections. I’ve shared their reflections as well.
~Jannan Thomas, DOOR Atlanta City Director

Last year when I lived in the Grant Park Dwell House there were a lot of difficult times. When I was considering another year in community and looking at being a part of this new community, I was a little burnt out from all that had happened at the Grant Park house. But I believed so strongly in community that I couldn’t give up on it. For me, giving up on community is equivalent of buying a house in Sandy Springs. It would be like selling out. I realized that because I was tired and stressed, there was no other option for me, then to keep living in community.

I was excited to live in Capitol View because of the neighborhood. I knew that there was a desire of the folks in the Capitol View Community to be “in” the neighborhood. I also knew that by living in Capitol View, I would not be able to ignore the struggles people experience. I also knew this would change me somehow.

When I moved into the Grant Park Dwell community last year, I had always wanted to live in community. But I wasn’t very intentional about why I was doing it. I made a really quick decision to live in that community and moved in quickly after I made that decision. I was a complete conflict avoider when I moved into community. As I have been a part of the Dwell program I am seeing the difference in my reactions. I am able to handle conflict and be O.K. with it. Living in community has made me understand and be confronted with my selfishness. My desire to be completely independent in my schedule, my desire to not want to clean up after someone, my desire to do my own thing and not have to do something for someone else. These desires seem out of place when living in community.

Having lived in both the Grant Park house and the Capitol View house has been interesting. Living in Capitol View makes my heart break so much more. In the neighborhood of Grant Park, people look like they are going somewhere. The people around our house in Capitol View break my heart all the time. Living in Capitol View has given me a different perspective. But despite the need that I see, I also see signs of hope. I see people who have lived here for long enough to make the decision to move away, but instead decide to connect with neighbors. Anyone can do something for a year, but when I see people committing for the long haul, that gives me hope. I also hope that if somebody else can make that commitment, than I can do it. Where I struggle is with seeing hope for those in need in our neighborhood. I know there is always hope, but I don’t know how that hope will manifest itself. Hope is found in very small ways. I haven’t seen that hope personally yet, but I believe there is some. Hope is my act of faith…the evident of things not seen.”

As we were talking, Steve, another Capitol View member, chimed in on the topic of hope. He asked: “Is Hope about economic activity?” He then answered his own question. “No, if hope is only about money than people would leave the neighborhood. Hope is when relationships are built across lines of race or socio economic status. People like us tend to think that hope is about getting better economic activity, but that isn’t the whole picture.”

Aline responded to Steve by saying: “Hope is the breaking of destructive patterns. But I know personally how hard this is.”

Steve: “One of the ongoing discussions in the GED program is about students who cause trouble for other students. I believe that if they are holding back other students than we should let them go. We should do what is best for the group. But The Apostle (one of the other leaders of the GED program, along with Steve) will not let those people go. She is much less willing to give up on those folks than I am willing to. She has the tenacity to grab on. She is going to be the person who is not going to give up on you even though you are being a complete jerk. There is hope in that."

Sharon: “I find hope in programs like the GED. I find hope that the GED program will be there over the long haul and God will be there too.”

Kari: “Seeing the hope is sometimes difficult. Sometimes it is easier to hear the gunshots then the peace. “